Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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