No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
