he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
