You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
