I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
