Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
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Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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