I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
