All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
