ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
