Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
