Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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