I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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