Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
