Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
