I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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