sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
