Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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