That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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