just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
