I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
