You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
