stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
