A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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