one might say we're banned from that church
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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