who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
