Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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