so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
