her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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