3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
