what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
