well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
