Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
