was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
