I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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