it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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