I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
