Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
