Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
