what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
