remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
