return my video game
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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