I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
