I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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