fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
