Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm just crazy horny about you
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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