Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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