you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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