Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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