i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize