Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
