so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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