singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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