Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
