The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
