i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
