do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize