I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
