You're so nebulous sometimes
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize