that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it hurts more in the daytime
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize