I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize