Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
