Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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