we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
