In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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