We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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