Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
