I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
