Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize