I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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