I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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