dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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