I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
